My Love,
August is here and my heart fills with joy, like horse walking into a green meadow. But I pull hard at the reins to stop it from its jaunts. For the heart does nt understand simple things like the fact that You and I are at a great distance now. And August is not a month to be excited anymore. At least not as much. Forgive it, its indulgences as it sends you a gift again this year for your birthday. Perhaps next year i will convince it otherwise. Silly as it is , it chose them much carefully..irony is of course they seem the best gifts yet. I would not want your new year to be spoiled by things that may upset you on your special day. So i am sending a bit early. I can only hope you like them unlike our conversations now.
I know you love not me, but another Man. I have long accepted that. But my heart wonders if you will remember me .. remember us..I hope not all memories are of pain and mistreatment. Atleast the “us” had one moment of divinity for you i hope. I pray for forgiveness everyday as your words ” You make me want to kill myself” still haunt me and freeze my heart. i hope someday i will understand what i did to have the person i loved so much say that. God bless you. Unlike my failure, you have filled my memory with so many wonderful moments of love that they would suffice even for a lifetime by themselves. Though i am trying live beyond them, presently i much still bound to feel guilty about considering another. It is silly and impractical i agree but then where does the heart listen to reason.
Anyway on the eve of your birthday i just wanted to tell you that. I am proud of you and i truly believe now that you don’t need anymore gyaan or other stuff from me to reach your goal. Your progress in the last few months has given me that confidence. So I have let you be and won’t disturb your life unless you call for my help. After all i still love you and would be more then glad to see you achieve the extraordinary. Have a lovely life ahead
Love
