I am back to blogging and hence thinking after nearly two years. Lets hope i keep thinking. 
Reborn Tuesday, Oct 20 2009
Reflections 10:46 am
“Forsaken” (putting up stuff i had hidden off up again) Tuesday, Oct 2 2007
Reflections 8:10 am
My Love,
August is here and my heart fills with joy, like horse walking into a green meadow. But I pull hard at the reins to stop it from its jaunts. For the heart does nt understand simple things like the fact that You and I are at a great distance now. And August is not a month to be excited anymore. At least not as much. Forgive it, its indulgences as it sends you a gift again this year for your birthday. Perhaps next year i will convince it otherwise. Silly as it is , it chose them much carefully..irony is of course they seem the best gifts yet. I would not want your new year to be spoiled by things that may upset you on your special day. So i am sending a bit early. I can only hope you like them unlike our conversations now.
I know you love not me, but another Man. I have long accepted that. But my heart wonders if you will remember me .. remember us..I hope not all memories are of pain and mistreatment. Atleast the “us” had one moment of divinity for you i hope. I pray for forgiveness everyday as your words ” You make me want to kill myself” still haunt me and freeze my heart. i hope someday i will understand what i did to have the person i loved so much say that. God bless you. Unlike my failure, you have filled my memory with so many wonderful moments of love that they would suffice even for a lifetime by themselves. Though i am trying live beyond them, presently i much still bound to feel guilty about considering another. It is silly and impractical i agree but then where does the heart listen to reason.
Anyway on the eve of your birthday i just wanted to tell you that. I am proud of you and i truly believe now that you don’t need anymore gyaan or other stuff from me to reach your goal. Your progress in the last few months has given me that confidence. So I have let you be and won’t disturb your life unless you call for my help. After all i still love you and would be more then glad to see you achieve the extraordinary. Have a lovely life ahead
Love
We- something i wrote two years back Tuesday, Oct 2 2007
Reflections 8:05 am
What are we but our actions.Our actions show our ideals. Our ideals show us our belief system is. What God is like for us and the Universe looks like for us. For George BUsh ,it is ” you are with me or against me” .. so his God is a stern God.. and his world is full of enemies and potential enemies. For all that we read and talk about .. ultimately we follow what ew truly believe in. I have always spoken about integrity, spoken about being anti corrupt.. but the truth is i dont even think twice before greasing a TC’s hand for a quick ticket. And that my friend is just the start. Bussiness takes greasing to unimaginabe levels. So if i believed in integrity where did my courage go to oppose all this? Nobody forced me bribe the railway officials. The quickness and comfort of an AC 2 tier compared to a general class thats what made want to forgo my integrity.. comfort and luxury .. The irony is of course that i bribed my own integrity with my own money. For a small price i gave my principles. The world is there a mere reflection thy self.. as sow , so shall you reap , my old english teacher used to say. The words are golden. The next time i catch myself complaining about the state of affairs , i will first find out how i was responsible of the state of affairs
Am I getting old? Sunday, Sep 23 2007
Reflections 3:08 pm
I don’t know why but lately i turned quite sentimental about people. I miss people close to me enough to hurt and feel lonely.
I wonder if i am getting old or i got a cold? I bought two photo frames and put pics of my favourite people in it.. I wonder why i never felt the need before and today feel it so strong. What has changed inside me. Is it the realization that i am mortal and life is fragile. Is that i dont like the pace of change life has taken or i am afraid to go into the future knowing these times..o these sweet times will never return..
Suddenly no amount ‘I love you’ or just conversations seem enough.. ojust little more before the globe turns once more.
I know not what to say.
what to do Tuesday, Jul 3 2007
Reflections 1:26 pm
Life is funny, you think you are clear on everything and suddenly one day it all comes down just like that. You hit a low for apparently no reason. I like i did for the [ast few days. Actually last few days have been really good to me. With great things happening in my life. . finding new friends, making new business deals and such. Yet i decided to be cribby about it. So much so, that today finally i skipped the whole day. I think back find it so ridiculous but hey then it made a lot more sense to just stick in bed.
So what is earth shattering reason for being in bed. . remberance of a women who broke my heart.. or rather her touch.. silly really. Sometimes it s best not rake up the past. Because its already past. let it be. Rather to spend my time in building the future. Which is the blank. What do i want my future to look like. Nice white blank board. Kya karna hai future ka??
wat to do yaar?
